Why Men Don't Listen & Women Can't Read Maps: How We're Different and What to Do About It by Barbara Pease & Allan Pease

Author:Barbara Pease & Allan Pease [Pease, Barbara & Pease, Allan]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781566491563
Publisher: Welcome Rain
Published: 2011-01-15T05:00:00+00:00

Why Stressed Women Talk

Under stress or pressure, a man's main brain functions of spatial ability and logic are activated. A woman's speech function is activated and she starts talking, often non-stop. If she's stressed, she talks, talks and talks to anyone who will listen. She can talk about her problems to her friends for hours, giving a thorough report of details and then they all give the problem another post -mortem. She talks about present problems, past problems, possible problems and problems that have no solutions. When she talks, no solutions are sought as she receives comfort and relief from the process of talking. Her talk is unstructured and several subjects can be discussed at any one time with no conclusions being reached.

For a woman, sharing problems

with her friends is a sign of

trust and friendship.

For a man, listening to her talk about problems is hard work because he feels he is expected to solve each problem she brings up as she talks aloud. He doesn't just want to talk about it, he wants to do something about it! He is likely to interrupt with, 'What's the point here?'

The point is that there doesn't need to be a point. The most valuable lesson a man can learn is to listen using listening sounds and gestures, and not to offer solutions.

To a man, however, this is an alien concept because he only talks when he has a solution to offer.

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